What If I Told You That You Could Make Your Dreams Come true?

This morning I had the pleasure to have a conversation with Mel Rose- A Blogger/Youtuber I have followed for over 5 + years, and now have the pleasure to call a Friend. She has just released an E-Book (Or essay as she calls it) called “3 simple ways to live a happier life (instantly)” and We were talking bout happiness and temporary set backs.

I spoke a little of what My Family and I are going through as of late and one thing I said to her reminded me of why I started this blog and Why i want to continue it.

Too often we get so wrapped up in what is going on around us that  we either forget our direction and why we are doing this or we just coast along and start to believe that we are not meant for anything else.

Do something for me, Picture your Dream life- not just a typical image of what society deems a perfect life but really dig deep, envision you career, envision your relationships, where are you living? What are you doing? Who are the people around you?

Now write it down, on your phone, on your computer, on paper- however just write it down.

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Now what would you say if i told you that its 100% possible for you to have that life? Would you believe me?

No Of course you wouldn’t, that seems outrageous right? Now while I don’t have my dream life YET I do know that if i work hard for what i want, i can create my perfect world.

You don’t have to stay in that dead end job, hell you can create a position in any career you choose, you can create a career from literally anything, you enjoy writing, be a writer, you enjoy painting? then paint or like i just said to my husband 2 minutes ago “if you want a decent Stargate SG1 game, Create it” Even he believes he couldn’t do it, because he too has been conditioned to think you have to start from the bottom of a career chain to get anywhere and that isn’t true at all!

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Now I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of where i want my life to go but the first thing you need to know is that to be able to drive that force, you need to not only believe that it can happen, but also love yourself wholeheartedly the way you are right now to allow those paths to open, and most importantly allow yourself to be happy. Too often we aren’t happy with our weight, our relationships, our jobs and our whole life, that we start to tell ourselves that we don’t deserve that happiness or that opportunity that may present itself.

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You are no good to your dreams or yourself if you keep pouring from an empty cup, Fill your own cup first and give to the world from the energy that overflows. I heard this quote first when i was listening to a Melissa Ambrosini Book on Audible called “Mastering your Mean Girl” And it has resonated with me since, and i reference this quote almost everyday!

So go and buy that self development book, go out for that coffee, get your hair done, go to the gym.. Whatever will help you fill your cup and boost yourself to make that courageous change, Do it!

And don’t thank me for it, Thank yourself, Because you are the only you there is and you are Perfect just the way you are

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Belated 2018 Welcome

I have been battling with myself on how, when and what content to bring to this new year and i just decided, you know what- FUCK IT “just start typing and see how you go” I have had MAJOR writers block despite my desperate desire to start writing again! I have so much to tell you, and so much to share! I missed you! How are you!?

Let me fill you in..

In December I JOINED A GYM.. it took me till mid January to actually pluck up the courage to start going BUT Since the 24th of Jan I have been going 3-4 times per week and LOVING every minute i am there (except when i have to do cardio- we don’t like that)

Jan 24 First Time at the Gym
First Time Attending a Gym (And sticking to it)

Now im not going to claim this is the first time i’ve even joined a gym because its not, I joined another gym a few years ago but had to cancel the membership because we moved out of that town and i just never signed up to a new one till now. I am also not going to say that ive lost heaps of weight or sit here an give you all these tips on what working for me because i havent lost a single kilo (and kept it off) and my eating habits are still pretty bad which i am working on but am still unable to resist cravings and bread! BUT  aside from a 1 week break while i had a bad cold, I have been going to the gym pretty consistently 3-4 times per week since the 24th of January!

I can however tell you that i have lost several CM’s/Inches all over my body, so i guess i have lost fat but gained muscle as i am doing a fair amount of weights, i tend to enjoy weight exercises and pushing it on the machines more than i like staring at the wall while on the treadmill or elliptical, i don’t mind the bike tho so i tend to use that more than the others.

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As you can see my weight has fluctuated a lot but hasn’t really gone down, However… My measurements have been consistently going down, I have lost about 39.5 cm’s in TOTAL over my entire body since the last time i measured myself in May last year.

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It just goes to show me that even though the scale isn’t moving a lot, I am losing weight!

I am so exciting to keep tracking my progress and getting fitter- Oh Man! I can already tell not just in my body but in my workouts that i am already getting much fitter too!! I can push myself to do double what i could when i started, and am even trying out different workouts that i have seen on YouTube, THAT is how much fitter i am getting!

I am actively sharing my daily workouts on Instagram so please go and follow me on there if you would like to follow my daily life and fitness updates

But for now i am going to leave it at that. I am so glad to be back and sharing with you and i cannot wait to see where 2018 takes me cause i am fired up and ready to beat it head on!

Can i also just add that i have never before felt this kind of drive to succeed before, either my self discipline is better or I can adult better, but either way i know in my heart, my soul and my head that this is the path i am meant to continue down and never have i even believed in myself so much as to actually achieve my goals. Its just meant to happen this year, I just know that I am not giving up this time, this is the real deal!

What is driving you to succeed at your goals this year?!

K x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Dear food

We need to talk, please know that what I’m about to say is about me, not you.

I think the time has come where I need to let our relationship go. It has been an good 26 years, you were always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, if I was lonely, and you made me feel good, no matter what. But today I realised that this relationship is not good for me, my body or my family.

We are toxic together, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Your relationship is bad for not only my body but for my children as well. You no longer make me feel whole and warm, I no longer feel complete when we are together. Instead I feel sick, I want to vomit to make the feeling go away because I don’t know when to stop, I find it hard to breathe and I don’t feel good in anything I wear. My depression is taking over and my relationship with you is the catalyst in my bad health. I don’t want to feel this way anymore!

So I think it’s time that we break up, it’s not you, it’s me… I’m craving something else.

Something that fuels my entire body and not my emotions, something clean, light and weightless, something to give me energy and to show my children that we need to eat to live and not live to eat, so I’m sorry, but I am moving in with healthy eating tomorrow. Please have your stuff out by then. I know you’ll find happiness somewhere, but this girl is screaming to come out and I need to let her.

Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)
Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)

Goodbye junk food.

K x

Just stick to something;

Shocker, I have been MIA again! No surprises there eh? I’m not going to make up excuses because there really isn’t one, most people push through an obstacle, i sit and wallow in it.

This past month or so I have been battling with my depression again, nothing too extreme (thank goodness) but enough to listen to the mean girl in my head telling me that i am worthless, that no one cares about what i have to say or the posts and pictures that i put up or even in the real world where no one will care if i join them for coffee because they probably don’t even like me anyway or the hardest one, I don’t want to take my child to school because i don’t want his classmates to tease him for having a fat mom. But I won’t go too much more into it because the things my subconscious tells me are things that you wouldn’t want to hear said to another person. It gets pretty mean up in there.

I have a very unmotivated, lazy and why bother sort of personality that figures nobody cares so why should I, But then there is a pipsqueak little voice deep down that is trying to shout above it and remind me of the dreams I have not only for myself, but for my children too, it wants to tell me to screw what others think and do what I want to do, to push forward because the finish line is so much brighter, i can picture it but i have never seen it and it really is greener over there.

the grass ain’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it

So i’m walking in my Nana’s footsteps and i’m and going to channel her green thumb because this isn’t the life i want, not by a long shot, and I have so many goals/dreams and things I want to achieve that I don’t have time to keep wallowing in this pathetic little bubble of self loathing and misery, sure it is going to be difficult, and sure i am bound to fail plenty more times but as long as i keep getting back up, I will succeed!

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▼VII ▲VIII

Im sick of coming around to another birthday, easter, christmas and suddenly realising that i have just let my life fly by and I have done nothing with it. I want more for myself, I deserve better, and my kids deserve better!

So yet again this is ANOTHER testimony to myself and my readers that I will grow, change and shrink! there are a few plans in the works and i will post more about them at another time but for now i will sign off with a little quote i learned from a Melissa Ambrosini Book “Mastering you Mean girl”

“I love and accept myself unconditionally and wholeheartedly” ~ Melissa Ambrosini

K x

Zoo Adventures

A spontaneous call from a friend ended in a super fun adventure at Hamilton Zoo!

Amazing company and smiling laughing children is just what the doctor ordered!

My favourite photo is this one..

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Its the first full length photo of me that i love! Thanks to a little help from a Carly Christman YouTube Video I learnt how to pose my voluptuous body in a flattering way, and those two little smiles are just pure perfection and joy.

Their favourite animals were the monkeys, they got so giddy everytime they saw another species of monkey! It was absolutely adorable!

The icing on the cake was a little baby monkey play fighting with what i assumed to be his brothers!

I cannot wait for the next adventure with my babies! and thank you Becky for inviting us to spend the day with you an Estelle ❤️️

 

Kx

New Years Res #1 – CHECK

On my previous post i wrote down a few small goals i had for myself this year, and wholly shit would you believe it, I ACHIEVED A GOAL!

Over this past week My Husband, my children and myself moved into our own home (a rental of course, buying a home.. Pssh too much commitment for me just yet!)

We found the perfect little 4 bedroom home with a fenced back section, fireplace and open plan living dining and kitchen area, both kids get their own room and hubby and i get n office/filming space! it is perfection

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We are still finding homes for things and getting out hands on furniture as we had none from our downsize when we moved to this town but the privacy, the accomplishment and feeling like an adult again who is in control of my own life and home is by far the best feeling in the world.

Dont get me wrong, i am super appreciative and grateful to my mom for taking us in when we went through a tough spot, but it is our time to move onward and upwards.

2017 is our year to achieve our goals! Have you got any specific goals that you want to achieve or have already achieved? I would love to know!

2016 Can fuck right off! | New Years Resolutions

As you have probably noticed, i have been MIA for the last month and a bit, with good reason I promise.

If you saw my last post you know that my grandmother died last month after a very short and sudden battle with melanoma cancer. From diagnosis to death was about 6-8 weeks. For an extremely healthy and active 67 year old, its safe to say we are still in shock. I took a leave of absence from all my social media since as i couldnt pretend that everything was okay anymore. I was drowning, i would cuddle a blanket that she made me every night to fall asleep and if i didnt have that blanket then i would cry.

I found a screenshot in my camera roll of a text message she sent me when she was sick, 1 month before she died.

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This Broke Me!
Then a few days later at my new job, my facebook memories showed me this gem on Boxing day.

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This was Molly’s First Christmas, and for those of you who haven’t seen my Name reveal video on my You-tube, wont know that Molly’s Full Name is Molly Elizabeth, After my Nana, Elizabeth Margaret. This was a huge honor to my Nana and it quickly developed a beautiful bond between the two, even if molly hadn’t seen Nana in months, she always knew who she was and opened arms wide for a cuddle (even if she was having a clingy day and wouldn’t go near anyone else. Molly always opened her arms for her Great Nana.
So of course memories of this day and every other moment these two shared, and the notion that there will be no more pages to their book brought me to the floor, at work.

So as you can see, its been a hard road. and its not getting any easier, I’m just learning to cope better. But Nana wouldn’t want me to be this sad, she would want me to have my moment and then pull myself up and continue.

One thing i wanted to do before we knew how long she had left was show her that i can be the strong and independent woman she would want me to be, healthy mind body and soul and doing what I love. She grew her wings before i could show her that im not a loser. So with that i move on and up, 2016 held nothing special for me, I coasted through the whole year, i achieved nothing other than gaining another 10 kg.

I know they always say not to push for goals unless they are for yourself but i have a very minuscule opinion of myself and cant even get out of my bed for myself at my level of depression, so Nana, I will achieve my goals, FOR YOU.

So with the negative out of the way, here are a few very small and very achievable goals I have set for myself so next Christmas is filled with positivity and accomplishment

  • Move out of my Mums and into a Rental of our own (well on our way to this as we are viewing 2 houses next week)
  • Lose 2-4 kg per month
  • Upload a blog post 1- 2 times per week
  • Upload 1 youtube video per week
  • Save Money
  • Do 1 photo-shoot by the end of the year (Jackie If you read this, Your my goals ❤ )

I figure the smaller the goal, the more achievable it is. I am constantly attached to Facebook so i will link my public page here so you can see how im going, see when i upload new content and share your journey with me as well! I also have a private group too if you want to join that, here. (I havent used it in a long time but i would like to have a space where more private people can share where they are at x)

2017 will NOT be another fail year!! We got this Babies!

K x