Dads have it tough too

I have been talking a lot to a friend of mine lately who brought to my attention that single dads do not get enough recognition! I totally agree, I may not see the ones who are out there sharing that story because honestly- being a married woman/mother, I don’t look for it. We Have Mom-Models we look up to like Maria Form Happy Mum Happy child Who is an amazing woman who shows us the good the bad and the ugly and encourages mums to know that just because we share the good and happy moments, doesn’t mean we don’t suffer behind the camera. She is amazing, But for the Dads out there, Married, in a relationship or single, we don’t see their side. Perhaps that is because they don’t like to share or encourage the way that we Woman do but for this post I wanted to feature My friend and his good and bad as a Father.

Meet Matt, He is a Single Dad to a Beautiful little Boy Named Jackson, he works 2 jobs and still manages have an amazing co-parenting agreement which allows him to be a dad for 3-4 days out of the week. I feel I also need to mention that it is seen way to often that co-parenting is made so difficult for either parties for personal reasons over child related reasons so to see that Matt and his Ex have this amazing agreement really shows their maturity towards each other and proves that their child really does come first, so without even getting into the post I think you two are phenomenal people and i have the utmost respect for both of you as parents and as people.

Recently Matt Shared a post to his personal Facebook page which heed an amazing response and gave him the idea to collaborate with me on a post to get the word out there.

“Kids are awesome, even when they are having a random tantrum, under the table, at dinner time, because….some reason i haven’t worked out yet? Shout out to all the parents who understand this joy 😂 its still the best job ever.”

Matt and Jax

“Update from the other pic. To be fair, being a parent, in any context, IS hard work. We are generally pretty quick show off our cute moments and perfect picture’s but we know that the daily reality isn’t always so photogenic. So … yeah, Jackson kicked my arse tonight and that’s actually okay too? Still ended with him being fed, bath, stories, cuddle, bed…it all just took a bit longer tonight 😂’

Matt and Jax 2

Y’all got this mums and dads.👍”

Short yet Powerful, All to often we see our friends and acquaintances sharing photos and posts about their awesome day, or how well behaved their child has been or a cool place they have gone. Nothing is wrong with that at all but it can lead to insecurities, making us feel or think that we aren’t good parents, or don’t earn enough, or whatever the case may be! Every one struggles, everyone has bad days, and the best we can do is to encourage and support one another and not pass judgment on what may be a mirage.

What are our thoughts on this topic? Should Matt start a blog? Please share this story to show others they are not alone.

k x

Why all the Envy!?

Honestly the amount of false hatred caused by envy that I hold in my Heart makes me wonder why I’m not having heart attacks! I have a friend who is an AMAZING blogger ( like i have wanted to be a blogger/vlogger for over 5 years with zero motivation, and here she comes with a goal and boom she does it!) Then I know other people who have been vlogging on YouTube for 5 minutes compared to my 5 years and they are BOOMING! and here i am with my small outreach but instead of using that to drive me to do better, im moping about how everyone i know is better than me at things i have been wanting to do forever compared to their 4 minutes!

I feel hatred, i feel jealousy, i feel mad but the only thing i know for sure is those feelings are just a mask for depression and frustration toward myself for not getting off my now VERY fat arse and doing something about it, not fueling that desire by the negative feelings, instead i wallow… Yeah, real smart Kristy!

Side note: if you are or know who im referencing please try to see this as my journey towards self improvement because if i really look deep down, i feel those things towards myself, not you. My true and honest feelings toward you as a person is pride, pride that you are able to succeed at things im not, pride that you are achieving your goals and pride that you are walking your path.

Now back to inner rage… I sit here full from eating 2 pies, 1/4 bag of snake lollies, 1/8 block of chocolate and a late lunch of KFC and knowing that ive expressed this rage before and nothing, I have set goals before and nothing, i have even written goals in a previous post and still reverted back to where i was, i lose weight and reward myself with food i crave like a little excited puppy. So how do i change, how do i force myself to kick this inner lazy unmotivated bitch out of my head so i can start to feel pride for myself and reach my own goals!

I want to be a mediating, yoga doing, vegan who vlogs and writes her blog, I wanna receive products and items to review for people who care about my opinion, i wanna be able to jump on a trampoline with my kids and not sit on the sidelines watching my sister-in-law play with my kids instead because i exceed the weight limit and don’t wanna break it. but most of all i want to love myself, i dont wanna hate who i am, i dont wanna set goals and just not do them.

Have you experienced this, do you have any tips to help me, or do you just want to share your story too? don’t be shy, knowing you are not alone when you feel the most isolated is the best feeling ever.

K x

 

If you don’t have anything nice to say…

Thank goodness for this post by the amazing Maria Foy from “Happy Mum, Happy Child“! I see this way too often, some people way too often have burning comments and opinions that they just can’t hold on to, I even had a stranger make a comment about my Parenting with Molly just the other day and I was horrified!
Molly was putting up a fight to sit back down in the trolley at countdown, she was bored and standing up in the seat because she wanted to get out (i was standing right in front of her as the buckles don’t hold down a determined 2 year old) So to avoid the scream and possibility the falling out of the trolley, I picked her up and held her on my hip (also its the rare opportunity for me to get a cuddle) and continued to browse the vegetable stock, the woman next to me decided it was her turn to weigh in. ” that’s it now, she knows how to get what she wants and shes never going to listen now, shes figured out your weakness” (I am ad-libbing here as i don’t remember the exact words) I stood there like a deer in headlights, horrified that someone would actually say something like that but i kept my calm and politely explained that she is a very well behaved girl and listens when she needs to and that we have a very good relationship she was just bored (as is most children that go to the supermarket) My husband was too far away to hear what the woman said and was just as horrified as i was when i told him what happened. I found solace when i heard and agreeable chuckle from the mother standing near us in the next isle while I informed my husband of what was said. I live by these two mantras that i was taught when i was a child “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” and “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all” I wish with all my heart that other would too. We as mothers get enough controversial advice from enough people without the 2 cents worth from a stranger in a supermarket which in itself is hard enough with a child sometimes!
I love the support and kindness Us women have for each other Mothers.
K x