Belated 2018 Welcome

I have been battling with myself on how, when and what content to bring to this new year and i just decided, you know what- FUCK IT “just start typing and see how you go” I have had MAJOR writers block despite my desperate desire to start writing again! I have so much to tell you, and so much to share! I missed you! How are you!?

Let me fill you in..

In December I JOINED A GYM.. it took me till mid January to actually pluck up the courage to start going BUT Since the 24th of Jan I have been going 3-4 times per week and LOVING every minute i am there (except when i have to do cardio- we don’t like that)

Jan 24 First Time at the Gym
First Time Attending a Gym (And sticking to it)

Now im not going to claim this is the first time i’ve even joined a gym because its not, I joined another gym a few years ago but had to cancel the membership because we moved out of that town and i just never signed up to a new one till now. I am also not going to say that ive lost heaps of weight or sit here an give you all these tips on what working for me because i havent lost a single kilo (and kept it off) and my eating habits are still pretty bad which i am working on but am still unable to resist cravings and bread! BUT  aside from a 1 week break while i had a bad cold, I have been going to the gym pretty consistently 3-4 times per week since the 24th of January!

I can however tell you that i have lost several CM’s/Inches all over my body, so i guess i have lost fat but gained muscle as i am doing a fair amount of weights, i tend to enjoy weight exercises and pushing it on the machines more than i like staring at the wall while on the treadmill or elliptical, i don’t mind the bike tho so i tend to use that more than the others.

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As you can see my weight has fluctuated a lot but hasn’t really gone down, However… My measurements have been consistently going down, I have lost about 39.5 cm’s in TOTAL over my entire body since the last time i measured myself in May last year.

Cms LOST

It just goes to show me that even though the scale isn’t moving a lot, I am losing weight!

I am so exciting to keep tracking my progress and getting fitter- Oh Man! I can already tell not just in my body but in my workouts that i am already getting much fitter too!! I can push myself to do double what i could when i started, and am even trying out different workouts that i have seen on YouTube, THAT is how much fitter i am getting!

I am actively sharing my daily workouts on Instagram so please go and follow me on there if you would like to follow my daily life and fitness updates

But for now i am going to leave it at that. I am so glad to be back and sharing with you and i cannot wait to see where 2018 takes me cause i am fired up and ready to beat it head on!

Can i also just add that i have never before felt this kind of drive to succeed before, either my self discipline is better or I can adult better, but either way i know in my heart, my soul and my head that this is the path i am meant to continue down and never have i even believed in myself so much as to actually achieve my goals. Its just meant to happen this year, I just know that I am not giving up this time, this is the real deal!

What is driving you to succeed at your goals this year?!

K x

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Inspire;

I have been notorious for comparing myself to other bloggers, social media moguls, celebrities you name it, I’ve compared myself! But i’m working on not doing that anymore, so in the words of the STUNNING Cara Alwill Leyba “If you like something about another woman, TELL Her!!!”

So this is a total boast post of a few babes I am inspired by!

Mel Rose; Author of Food and the City Blog!

I have followed this babe for at least 5 maybe even 6 years, and she is just stunning inside and out! she is an amazing food blogger and i cannot guarantee you wont drool when you read her socials!!! She started off as a beauty blogger on YouTube and branched out into the food blog universe and boy does she know her niche! She posts the most amazing food-grams, fashion posts and inspiring tidbits! Shes stunningly beautiful and she knows how to have a good time! She is the kind of person that once you have found her, you will want to follow every social and be her best friend just like me!

Mel Rose

Jamie Genevieve; YouTuber and Make up Goddess

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie… There’s something about this chick that just makes you feel like her best friend, maybe its the amazing tattoos, the infectious smile or the approachable persona, but honestly, she is EVERYTHING. Jamie is a Professional Make-up Artist and boy is she pure talent. AND, she has just started vlogging!!! 30 minutes of Jamie every week.. AH YES PLEASE! I’m Obsessed, You just need to follow her!

Jamie Genenieve

With The Whittakers / Jordan Whittaker 

This Mama, is probably the sweetest, most genuine person, Shes never put up a front, shes real and honest in all her posts. I remember i wrote her an email last year (cause we are totally friends and everything 😛 I wish) ANYWAY, I wrote her an email basically explaining how sorry i was for neglecting her socials, that it was out of pure jealousy, lack of self esteem and not feeling like i was good enough to be friends with her let alone just try and talk to her cause she is just way too cool for the likes of me. My oh My! I did not expect her response! Not only was she completely cool about it, but she understood, she reminded me that she is human too and that she valued my strength and honesty, Since then I have been to embarrassed to talk to her still but i am getting there,  the best part is that she  DOESN’T JUDGE ME for it! This Mama is Stunning, she is a super fashionista with her style as well as her toddler style for Her children Brooklyn and Marlo, she plans and preps her meals (that look amazing) shes a social media influencer and inspires mums all over the world to be the best version of themselves they can be and to not put so much pressure on themselves, while reminding them that she struggles too, its her job to take good photos and post inspiring tidbits but she has her moments too, just like we all do. Jordan is the mom friend we all need ❤

The Whittakers

Rocky and Ruby Blog / Rebecca Keil

This mama is your classic Kiwi mum with a confident twist, She is cool as a cucumber and real as fuck, shes not afraid to show us that it’s really is okay to say that our kids are really just pissing us off and she doesn’t bend herself or her content to societies norm, she will tell you the great, the fun, the shit and the awful side of parenting and wont take shit from no one. I absolutely LOVE her for this quality, but not only that, she is gorgeous! An MUA by trade, and is so in tune with herself that she can pull off any look, while keeping her kids styled to the nines. I have followed her since she made and sold kids clothing and now she has evolved into this powerhouse blogging mom, she is a breath of fresh air for any mum, and her classic kiwi humor is hilarity!

Rocky and Ruby Blog

Cara Alwill Leyba / The Champagne Diet

I can’t mention Cara without adding her to this list! Cara is a Master life coach, Blogger and Best selling author of my favorite book Girl Code. She has single handedly lead a community of thousands of Lady bosses to pursue their dreams of entrepreneurship, self love, empowerment and to straight up just SLAY BABY! She has changed and improved so many lives as well as her own, she is a Queen in Chanel! I love this woman so much and she inspires me every day to pursue my dreams, even if i don’t know what they are yet, girl has still got me chasing them.

Cara

Now if i could, i would take each and every one of these beautiful ladies out for a coffee and lead into the night with champagne (or beer eh Rebecca 😂 ) , Thank you ladies for being true to who you are and inspiring me to find my true me, Shes here somewhere and if it wasn’t for your light, id never find her ❤

K x

Dear food

We need to talk, please know that what I’m about to say is about me, not you.

I think the time has come where I need to let our relationship go. It has been an good 26 years, you were always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, if I was lonely, and you made me feel good, no matter what. But today I realised that this relationship is not good for me, my body or my family.

We are toxic together, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Your relationship is bad for not only my body but for my children as well. You no longer make me feel whole and warm, I no longer feel complete when we are together. Instead I feel sick, I want to vomit to make the feeling go away because I don’t know when to stop, I find it hard to breathe and I don’t feel good in anything I wear. My depression is taking over and my relationship with you is the catalyst in my bad health. I don’t want to feel this way anymore!

So I think it’s time that we break up, it’s not you, it’s me… I’m craving something else.

Something that fuels my entire body and not my emotions, something clean, light and weightless, something to give me energy and to show my children that we need to eat to live and not live to eat, so I’m sorry, but I am moving in with healthy eating tomorrow. Please have your stuff out by then. I know you’ll find happiness somewhere, but this girl is screaming to come out and I need to let her.

Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)
Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)

Goodbye junk food.

K x

It’s the small things

Last week i had one of the most productive “good mom” feeling days I have had in a while, we had plans to meet up with a friend of mine for a picnic at the lake so our children could run around and play while we chat!

So we got up early, packed a huge lunch and even condiments to make sandwiches, we had all kinds of fruit and snacks and set on our way.

Immediately the kids bolted to the playground and daddy was first round spectator while I prepped some sandwiches and played best fiends to pass the time till my friend and her family arrived.

Mid streak of my green leaves in level 66 I heard a lady whisper “excuse me” behind me, it was a gorgeous blonde haired woman in a dilemma, Her daughter had filled her nappy and they had forgotten their baby wipes, Of course I responded with a “Oh my gosh of course, I have been there plenty of times” And handed her the whole packet so she could use as many as she needed.

It made me think about times where I have forgotten something as simple as the baby wipes, I felt useless, the mean girl voice would tell me that i was a bad mom for forgetting something like wipes. Now i’m definitely not saying that she felt this way but we never know what people are feeling or thinking. I would have loved to have had the courage to ask a random person for wipes, for me: I would have just accepted defeat and gone home, despite having only just arrived. So to be able to do something like help a new mom out with a few baby wipes could have helped her make the most of her afternoon in the sun.

Look out for one another, even the smallest thing could change someones life

K x

I Just Can’t…

This month has been quite literally one of the hardest months of my life, I think i adjusted better to becoming a mum!

First big hit was finding out a very close family member is terminally ill. I then injured my knee which now means I am unable to work, exercise or walk normally, and my diet has been so all over the place that i swear I’ve gained the equivalent weight of Molly.

And despite knowing better, I made the abhorrent decision to make matters worse and self medicate with food…

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And not just some fries, I went all out! Large Boss Burger Combo + a Filet-O-Fish burger! All because i let my emotions take over, I have just been given almost a month off work following my doctors appointment today, a referral to a counselor and medication to relieve anxiety, I cried most of my docs appointment and was filled with fear about telling my boss I need more time off work when she is already unsupportive and livid that i have had 2 weeks off already. Needless to say, the only way i knew I could feel better was food. Why is this a norm for me, i didnt enjoy it at all, it didnt help me in the slightest, i still have all the same feelings only now i have added regret, nausea and self loathing. Im so mad that instead of meditating or reading a book or even blogging about it, I went straight for the drive through. Ugh I just can’t. Thanks for the Vent!

Have you overcome this urge? any tips are most welcome!

Luxe Fitness – First Impression

My Instagram has been inundated with encouragement and likes in regard to my post about my Luxe Fitness Protein Powder Purchase, So I wanted to give a little first impression on my order experience and first taste etc.

Ordering and Shipping: The process was easy to follow and super quick, it arrived really quickly too, I ordered on Friday night and it arrived 3 pm on Monday afternoon.

Packaging: It came in a cute small box and everything was packaged safely in bubble wrap. The label and the presentation of the actual product is super modern and appealing, I’m obsessed with the overall presentation. It is definitely Aesthetically pleasing!

luxe-fitness
instagram.com/spillsnserenity

Taste Test: I got the Vanilla Flavor, purely because i thought it would be more universal in different flavored smoothies and would taste great with various fruits etc, But obviously I wanted to try it on its own first. I mixed it with milk for the first try as i find protein shakes tend be a lot creamier mixed that way and boy was it good!! OMG it was super creamy, and so yummy!! And I’m not a huge Vanilla person but i really enjoyed it, It mixed really well, it wasn’t lumpy or grainy and it was enjoyable right to the end of the cup. I have yet to try it with water or mix it in a fruit smoothie but I’m excited to experiment with different fruits and flavors.

As for any progress or the fat-burner, I will be keeping a journal of how I am doing and any progress I make, but overall, So far I am super impressed and i’m excited to see where it takes me!

K x

 

 

Why all the Envy!?

Honestly the amount of false hatred caused by envy that I hold in my Heart makes me wonder why I’m not having heart attacks! I have a friend who is an AMAZING blogger ( like i have wanted to be a blogger/vlogger for over 5 years with zero motivation, and here she comes with a goal and boom she does it!) Then I know other people who have been vlogging on YouTube for 5 minutes compared to my 5 years and they are BOOMING! and here i am with my small outreach but instead of using that to drive me to do better, im moping about how everyone i know is better than me at things i have been wanting to do forever compared to their 4 minutes!

I feel hatred, i feel jealousy, i feel mad but the only thing i know for sure is those feelings are just a mask for depression and frustration toward myself for not getting off my now VERY fat arse and doing something about it, not fueling that desire by the negative feelings, instead i wallow… Yeah, real smart Kristy!

Side note: if you are or know who im referencing please try to see this as my journey towards self improvement because if i really look deep down, i feel those things towards myself, not you. My true and honest feelings toward you as a person is pride, pride that you are able to succeed at things im not, pride that you are achieving your goals and pride that you are walking your path.

Now back to inner rage… I sit here full from eating 2 pies, 1/4 bag of snake lollies, 1/8 block of chocolate and a late lunch of KFC and knowing that ive expressed this rage before and nothing, I have set goals before and nothing, i have even written goals in a previous post and still reverted back to where i was, i lose weight and reward myself with food i crave like a little excited puppy. So how do i change, how do i force myself to kick this inner lazy unmotivated bitch out of my head so i can start to feel pride for myself and reach my own goals!

I want to be a mediating, yoga doing, vegan who vlogs and writes her blog, I wanna receive products and items to review for people who care about my opinion, i wanna be able to jump on a trampoline with my kids and not sit on the sidelines watching my sister-in-law play with my kids instead because i exceed the weight limit and don’t wanna break it. but most of all i want to love myself, i dont wanna hate who i am, i dont wanna set goals and just not do them.

Have you experienced this, do you have any tips to help me, or do you just want to share your story too? don’t be shy, knowing you are not alone when you feel the most isolated is the best feeling ever.

K x