You don’t Look like you had a baby?

Going through my instagram feed the other day as per usual, I double tapped a womans photo of her and her gorgeous new born, it was a side by side of her baby belly and post birth, then i saw it…

“You Don’t Look like you’ve had a baby.”

I had to double take, that was all the comment said and it struck a nerve. I’m assuming it was intended as a compliment but couldn’t they have just said, “You look amazing”

but it has had me thinking, what is a woman who just had a baby supposed to look like? Are we meant to look a hot mess with spastic hair and pure exhaustion? do people expect a disaster when seeing a woman after birth? I mean 9 times out of 10 a woman is going to put her best pic forward on social media but whether we look flawless or exhausted, the last thing we want you to comment on is whether or not we fit the “just gave birth” stereotype!

We are so full of love and appreciation for the gift we have just received that we don’t care how we look. The sudden jolt into Mom mode takes all those cares away.

So i guess my point is… don’t tell someone they don’t look like they just had a baby, tell them congratulations, compliment our gift and if you have to comment on our looks, tell us we look amazing because a compliment never hurts πŸ™‚

K x

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It’s the small things

Last week i had one of the most productive “good mom” feeling days I have had in a while, we had plans to meet up with a friend of mine for a picnic at the lake so our children could run around and play while we chat!

So we got up early, packed a huge lunch and even condiments to make sandwiches, we had all kinds of fruit and snacks and set on our way.

Immediately the kids bolted to the playground and daddy was first round spectator while I prepped some sandwiches and played best fiends to pass the time till my friend and her family arrived.

Mid streak of my green leaves in level 66 I heard a lady whisper “excuse me” behind me, it was a gorgeous blonde haired woman in a dilemma, Her daughter had filled her nappy and they had forgotten their baby wipes, Of course I responded with a “Oh my gosh of course, I have been there plenty of times” And handed her the whole packet so she could use as many as she needed.

It made me think about times where I have forgotten something as simple as the baby wipes, I felt useless, the mean girl voice would tell me that i was a bad mom for forgetting something like wipes. Now i’m definitely not saying that she felt this way but we never know what people are feeling or thinking. I would have loved to have had the courage to ask a random person for wipes, for me: I would have just accepted defeat and gone home, despite having only just arrived. So to be able to do something like help a new mom out with a few baby wipes could have helped her make the most of her afternoon in the sun.

Look out for one another, even the smallest thing could change someones life

K x

I’m a Bad Mom!

Have you seen Bad Moms Yet? If not, WHY!

I literally just finished watching this movie and immediately had to blog about my experience! Let me set the scene,

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Kids are in bed, fast asleep, I have wine, a french stick bread and my favorite Basil Pesto chunky dip, headphones on, snuggled by myself on the couch, ready to emmerse myself!

Throughout this entire movie I didn’t know whether to laugh because it was so hilarious or cry because it was so relatble! They could not have picked a better cast for this movie, first of all I LOVE Mila Kunis! she just has that down to earth vibe that just makes you want to be her friend, and i don’t think anyone could have played Amy Mitchell better than she did. But to be totally honest with you, I didn’t want to blog about how good the acting was or what part was my favorite, i want to focus on the message.

As moms we always feel this constant struggle to be the best, even if we don’t judge other moms, we are always comparing ourselves or wishing we could give our kids more, be more organised, provide healthier meals, Be the impossible! But that in and of itself is impossible, there is no way we can do it all, we cant afford it all, we cant do it all and we cant be it all, but what we can do.. is try!

We work ourselves to the bone to try and prove that we are some magic super mom that quite frankly doesn’t exist, we all struggle, we all feel down and we all feel insane at times AND THAT IS OKAY!

I want to share and encourage the message, that we should never feel like we have to compete to be like another mom, cause she is most likely competing to be like someone else too and its not fair! We need to bring each other up, we need to empower other mothers and tell them that they are doing a great job, when we see that defeated look in their eye we need to reassure them that they are amazing, even a simple “i feel ya babe” glance when you see them fighting a surf board baby into a car seat.

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My blurb- My kids only eat 50-70% of their dinner every night, i have to bribe them with a treat (even just a simple hot choc) just to try and get them to eat one more mouthful, maximum 4 days a week its vegetables because i’m just too tired of battling with them to eat a simple meal and i’m just trying to get SOME food into them, they get a bath maybe once or twice a week because i’m just too exhausted at the end of the day and cannot visibly see any dirt on them, they only brush their teeth at night, sometimes less for my daughter because i cannot bare to hold her down to shove a toothbrush in her mouth because all she does is suck the toothpaste off, my son has No ears and is repeatedly doing things we have asked him not to do 5 seconds before hand, which leads to the yelling! Most days I feel like i am yelling 24/7. I’m not a creative hands on mom that will sit down to teach my kids lessons every day like colors and numbers, yeah we talk about it and i do exercises with them through daily activities but i don’t have a number of books and pens and paints to be super hands on. But despite all of those difficulties and failures, at the end of the day my children are happy, bright, loving, caring, healthy and bubbly children who will go far in life because we are learning and figuring the world out together. I don’t have it all figured out, fuck, by the posts I have done you can tell that i’m a mess, But i love my kids with everything I am and even though i’m not the perfect mom i wish i was. I Am OK. Moms, I got you! We all got each other! Share your stories, share your struggles, don’t be ashamed, don’t be embarrassed, embrace the bullshit that comes with motherhood and lets be bad moms together!

 

K x