What If I Told You That You Could Make Your Dreams Come true?

This morning I had the pleasure to have a conversation with Mel Rose- A Blogger/Youtuber I have followed for over 5 + years, and now have the pleasure to call a Friend. She has just released an E-Book (Or essay as she calls it) called “3 simple ways to live a happier life (instantly)” and We were talking bout happiness and temporary set backs.

I spoke a little of what My Family and I are going through as of late and one thing I said to her reminded me of why I started this blog and Why i want to continue it.

Too often we get so wrapped up in what is going on around us that  we either forget our direction and why we are doing this or we just coast along and start to believe that we are not meant for anything else.

Do something for me, Picture your Dream life- not just a typical image of what society deems a perfect life but really dig deep, envision you career, envision your relationships, where are you living? What are you doing? Who are the people around you?

Now write it down, on your phone, on your computer, on paper- however just write it down.

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Now what would you say if i told you that its 100% possible for you to have that life? Would you believe me?

No Of course you wouldn’t, that seems outrageous right? Now while I don’t have my dream life YET I do know that if i work hard for what i want, i can create my perfect world.

You don’t have to stay in that dead end job, hell you can create a position in any career you choose, you can create a career from literally anything, you enjoy writing, be a writer, you enjoy painting? then paint or like i just said to my husband 2 minutes ago “if you want a decent Stargate SG1 game, Create it” Even he believes he couldn’t do it, because he too has been conditioned to think you have to start from the bottom of a career chain to get anywhere and that isn’t true at all!

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Now I haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of where i want my life to go but the first thing you need to know is that to be able to drive that force, you need to not only believe that it can happen, but also love yourself wholeheartedly the way you are right now to allow those paths to open, and most importantly allow yourself to be happy. Too often we aren’t happy with our weight, our relationships, our jobs and our whole life, that we start to tell ourselves that we don’t deserve that happiness or that opportunity that may present itself.

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You are no good to your dreams or yourself if you keep pouring from an empty cup, Fill your own cup first and give to the world from the energy that overflows. I heard this quote first when i was listening to a Melissa Ambrosini Book on Audible called “Mastering your Mean Girl” And it has resonated with me since, and i reference this quote almost everyday!

So go and buy that self development book, go out for that coffee, get your hair done, go to the gym.. Whatever will help you fill your cup and boost yourself to make that courageous change, Do it!

And don’t thank me for it, Thank yourself, Because you are the only you there is and you are Perfect just the way you are

Belated 2018 Welcome

I have been battling with myself on how, when and what content to bring to this new year and i just decided, you know what- FUCK IT “just start typing and see how you go” I have had MAJOR writers block despite my desperate desire to start writing again! I have so much to tell you, and so much to share! I missed you! How are you!?

Let me fill you in..

In December I JOINED A GYM.. it took me till mid January to actually pluck up the courage to start going BUT Since the 24th of Jan I have been going 3-4 times per week and LOVING every minute i am there (except when i have to do cardio- we don’t like that)

Jan 24 First Time at the Gym
First Time Attending a Gym (And sticking to it)

Now im not going to claim this is the first time i’ve even joined a gym because its not, I joined another gym a few years ago but had to cancel the membership because we moved out of that town and i just never signed up to a new one till now. I am also not going to say that ive lost heaps of weight or sit here an give you all these tips on what working for me because i havent lost a single kilo (and kept it off) and my eating habits are still pretty bad which i am working on but am still unable to resist cravings and bread! BUT  aside from a 1 week break while i had a bad cold, I have been going to the gym pretty consistently 3-4 times per week since the 24th of January!

I can however tell you that i have lost several CM’s/Inches all over my body, so i guess i have lost fat but gained muscle as i am doing a fair amount of weights, i tend to enjoy weight exercises and pushing it on the machines more than i like staring at the wall while on the treadmill or elliptical, i don’t mind the bike tho so i tend to use that more than the others.

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As you can see my weight has fluctuated a lot but hasn’t really gone down, However… My measurements have been consistently going down, I have lost about 39.5 cm’s in TOTAL over my entire body since the last time i measured myself in May last year.

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It just goes to show me that even though the scale isn’t moving a lot, I am losing weight!

I am so exciting to keep tracking my progress and getting fitter- Oh Man! I can already tell not just in my body but in my workouts that i am already getting much fitter too!! I can push myself to do double what i could when i started, and am even trying out different workouts that i have seen on YouTube, THAT is how much fitter i am getting!

I am actively sharing my daily workouts on Instagram so please go and follow me on there if you would like to follow my daily life and fitness updates

But for now i am going to leave it at that. I am so glad to be back and sharing with you and i cannot wait to see where 2018 takes me cause i am fired up and ready to beat it head on!

Can i also just add that i have never before felt this kind of drive to succeed before, either my self discipline is better or I can adult better, but either way i know in my heart, my soul and my head that this is the path i am meant to continue down and never have i even believed in myself so much as to actually achieve my goals. Its just meant to happen this year, I just know that I am not giving up this time, this is the real deal!

What is driving you to succeed at your goals this year?!

K x

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stuck Between a Harley Quinn & A Glam Barbie

Almost everyone I see on social media has their preferred style, whether it be glam, punk, grunge, princess, sporty or what, But for my entire life i have never known where I fit in. I have tried many different styles.

I’ve tried the punk sort of emo Look…

I’ve Had “Try Hard Chic”

 

Then there was “I’m Trying”

Followed by, “I’m a mum now, I no longer care about me”

Slowly transitioning into “okay I’m having another baby now, get your shit together” -Part of getting my shit together was marrying my Boyfriend of 4 years as we had a second baby on the way and figured it was about time because we had been engaged for 3 years 😂

Then a while later I tried the classic “If i dress sporty then maybe I will want to workout” Style

And within the last year alone I have tackled, Harley Quinn Unique, Fashionista Chic, and Effortless Casual and a bit of Glam Barbie

And after all of that… I still have no idea which trend or style i want to stick with, i love being all glam and pretty but i also LOVE the idea of cos-playing Harley Quinn (ya’ll Know i have an insane obsession) then another part of me loves the sporty look with chokers and hats, leggings and over-sized tops, and a total other side of me also wants to follow the high fashion, designer chic style or the Tatted babe with piercings! I am totally conflicted, can there really be room in my head for every style i have tried? have you suffered from this dilemma or are you totally sure of yourself and queen you rock your look! Help a Babe! How did you find your niche?

K x

Dear food

We need to talk, please know that what I’m about to say is about me, not you.

I think the time has come where I need to let our relationship go. It has been an good 26 years, you were always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, if I was lonely, and you made me feel good, no matter what. But today I realised that this relationship is not good for me, my body or my family.

We are toxic together, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Your relationship is bad for not only my body but for my children as well. You no longer make me feel whole and warm, I no longer feel complete when we are together. Instead I feel sick, I want to vomit to make the feeling go away because I don’t know when to stop, I find it hard to breathe and I don’t feel good in anything I wear. My depression is taking over and my relationship with you is the catalyst in my bad health. I don’t want to feel this way anymore!

So I think it’s time that we break up, it’s not you, it’s me… I’m craving something else.

Something that fuels my entire body and not my emotions, something clean, light and weightless, something to give me energy and to show my children that we need to eat to live and not live to eat, so I’m sorry, but I am moving in with healthy eating tomorrow. Please have your stuff out by then. I know you’ll find happiness somewhere, but this girl is screaming to come out and I need to let her.

Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)
Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)

Goodbye junk food.

K x

Comparison is a Battle you will Never Win

Today is a normal day, #momlife trip to the supermarket for some essentials, and then i saw her.. A woman I went to Highschool with. This Woman is Stunning, she has the most amazing figure, gorgeous fashion sense, she is a real estate agent so she can afford luxury items and She drives an SUV.

As soon as I saw her, I buckled, I felt like that awkward emo fat girl from school again who felt like I should be losing weight and barely eat to look like her, and get segregated because i’m copying her out of envy.

I Immediately bowed my head hoping she wouldn’t recognise me and then my inner mean girl started talking/yelling in my head “you’re twice the size you were in school, you slob” “haha she has the job, the car, the body and you have nothing” “Kristy, Face it, You’re the BIGGEST Loser ever””You’ll Never be as pretty and successful as her!”

But you Know what, NO! I don’t WANT the Job, I can’t sell to save my life, I want to be a blogger full time. Yeah Okay I’d love a figure like hers but I will work Hard to get a figure that is perfect for me and i will have earned the beautiful slimmer clothing I will be able to wear. Kristy You have 2 amazing children and a Loving Adoring Husband And you have a fantastic life to look forward to.

Moral of the story,581621541-compare

You never know what other people are going through behind the scenes, what they have been through or, what they are going through. We can only see what they want you to see from the outside.

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I will have my perfect life and i have a pretty damn amazing one now.

Dont Compare yourself to others, Its a battle you will never win.

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Learn to love the person you are and the life you have now, and strive to achieve your dreams.

K x

P.s If you Do Read this I am So proud of the person you are, the hard work you have put in to have the life you have. I hope you achieve all of your life goals and dreams. Hopefully next time I wont be so bitter and embarrassed and I will Say Hello instead of pretending i’m invisible.

p.p.s I have updated this post to more descriptively portray the emotion that went into the encounter. This post was never about her, or her as a person. The simple fact is she inspired the post because of how i regressed to a depressed state when i saw my high school past in front of me, but it was never about her as a person.

I Just Can’t…

This month has been quite literally one of the hardest months of my life, I think i adjusted better to becoming a mum!

First big hit was finding out a very close family member is terminally ill. I then injured my knee which now means I am unable to work, exercise or walk normally, and my diet has been so all over the place that i swear I’ve gained the equivalent weight of Molly.

And despite knowing better, I made the abhorrent decision to make matters worse and self medicate with food…

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And not just some fries, I went all out! Large Boss Burger Combo + a Filet-O-Fish burger! All because i let my emotions take over, I have just been given almost a month off work following my doctors appointment today, a referral to a counselor and medication to relieve anxiety, I cried most of my docs appointment and was filled with fear about telling my boss I need more time off work when she is already unsupportive and livid that i have had 2 weeks off already. Needless to say, the only way i knew I could feel better was food. Why is this a norm for me, i didnt enjoy it at all, it didnt help me in the slightest, i still have all the same feelings only now i have added regret, nausea and self loathing. Im so mad that instead of meditating or reading a book or even blogging about it, I went straight for the drive through. Ugh I just can’t. Thanks for the Vent!

Have you overcome this urge? any tips are most welcome!

Luxe Fitness – First Impression

My Instagram has been inundated with encouragement and likes in regard to my post about my Luxe Fitness Protein Powder Purchase, So I wanted to give a little first impression on my order experience and first taste etc.

Ordering and Shipping: The process was easy to follow and super quick, it arrived really quickly too, I ordered on Friday night and it arrived 3 pm on Monday afternoon.

Packaging: It came in a cute small box and everything was packaged safely in bubble wrap. The label and the presentation of the actual product is super modern and appealing, I’m obsessed with the overall presentation. It is definitely Aesthetically pleasing!

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instagram.com/spillsnserenity

Taste Test: I got the Vanilla Flavor, purely because i thought it would be more universal in different flavored smoothies and would taste great with various fruits etc, But obviously I wanted to try it on its own first. I mixed it with milk for the first try as i find protein shakes tend be a lot creamier mixed that way and boy was it good!! OMG it was super creamy, and so yummy!! And I’m not a huge Vanilla person but i really enjoyed it, It mixed really well, it wasn’t lumpy or grainy and it was enjoyable right to the end of the cup. I have yet to try it with water or mix it in a fruit smoothie but I’m excited to experiment with different fruits and flavors.

As for any progress or the fat-burner, I will be keeping a journal of how I am doing and any progress I make, but overall, So far I am super impressed and i’m excited to see where it takes me!

K x

 

 

Gratitude is a disappearing virtue!

Too often we focus on what we don’t have, what we are missing, what we wish we had, or what others have that we want. We forget to stop and take a look at the blessings we do have in our lives, the family we have, the luxuries or the simple things.

In a split second the world around you can get turned upside down, a very close family member can be given a deadly diagnosis even when they are the healthiest person you know. You could be thrown into a grim situation or just simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time and lose everything you knew

So today I want to share the things i am most grateful for!

  • My Family, I have a small immediate family but we are all super close and love each other with everything we are. We are never far from each others thoughts and enjoy every moment we have together.
  • My Body, I am grateful for my healthy body, even though its large, every blood test I have comes back exceptional, I am rarely sick and have all functioning limbs.
  • My ability to have children, I count my blessings every day that i was able to have 2 beautiful and healthy children. My heart goes out to all women who struggle or are unable to have a family.
  • My Husband, we have our ups and downs for sure, but despite any spat we may have, we are always able to work it out and come back together stronger than before. My Husband loves absolutely everything about me and reminds me everyday. I am so grateful so have found such a loving and accepting man to spend my life with and raise our family.
  • My Finances. I never thought i would say this, and even though i have debt collection bills and bad credit, I am grateful for my government for the allowances I am entitled to while I work my part time job so that i am able to provide delicious food and a happy loving environment for my children
  • My Mother, not only did she raise me to be loving, open minded and understanding, she always makes sure i have everything i need, she is always there no matter the time or place and sacrifices herself to make sure others are okay. She continues to support me no matter what, including opening up her warm loving home for my family in our time of need.

I’m sure there are many more things i could list but those are the main ones i wanted to focus on, because these are the ones we tend to take for granted.

My Task for you is to comment 3 things you are grateful for in this very moment that you are reading this.

 

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K x

#TBT My First YouTube Video

So on Monday, I was looking through my old videos to show a friend on twitter that you can still do a make up video without having the High end filming equipment that most girls use today. In looking back for My First Make up Tutorial i also stumbled across my first ever YouTube video and man does it make me cringe!

My First YouTube Video!

It was a 46 Questions tag to introduce myself and it was filmed on an old boxy, White Macbook Pro in photobooth! I was nervous as hell pausing on questions like when is your birthday because I wasnt sure if i should say the year, I kept looking at myself in the screen and playing with my hair, and i was trying way too hard to make sure i looked the part.

More importantly, the point of this blog post is that.. I do not recognise that person. It was Pre Children, Pre baby body, like 30-40kgs lighter, and not to mention the overkill side part!

In listening to the answers I realized that I lied to make myself seem more interesting and generic to the other beauty vloggers, Half of the answers i wouldn’t even think to pick now, like my fave restaurant? Pah lease! i went there once and i NEVER eat at restaurants, since then (5 years ago) i have been to a handful of places. And my fave snack, are you kidding me?! Unsalted peanuts? who the fuck are you! and by the way they are NOT really good for you, DOOFUS!

I was trying so hard that I don’t even recognise who she is, and while i may love the fact that she is a lot slimmer and loved herself alot more than I do I’m more true to who I am now and honest about my thoughts and opinions.

What did you think of the video? Do you look back and wonder the same? how far have you come? What is your throwback?

k x

Why all the Envy!?

Honestly the amount of false hatred caused by envy that I hold in my Heart makes me wonder why I’m not having heart attacks! I have a friend who is an AMAZING blogger ( like i have wanted to be a blogger/vlogger for over 5 years with zero motivation, and here she comes with a goal and boom she does it!) Then I know other people who have been vlogging on YouTube for 5 minutes compared to my 5 years and they are BOOMING! and here i am with my small outreach but instead of using that to drive me to do better, im moping about how everyone i know is better than me at things i have been wanting to do forever compared to their 4 minutes!

I feel hatred, i feel jealousy, i feel mad but the only thing i know for sure is those feelings are just a mask for depression and frustration toward myself for not getting off my now VERY fat arse and doing something about it, not fueling that desire by the negative feelings, instead i wallow… Yeah, real smart Kristy!

Side note: if you are or know who im referencing please try to see this as my journey towards self improvement because if i really look deep down, i feel those things towards myself, not you. My true and honest feelings toward you as a person is pride, pride that you are able to succeed at things im not, pride that you are achieving your goals and pride that you are walking your path.

Now back to inner rage… I sit here full from eating 2 pies, 1/4 bag of snake lollies, 1/8 block of chocolate and a late lunch of KFC and knowing that ive expressed this rage before and nothing, I have set goals before and nothing, i have even written goals in a previous post and still reverted back to where i was, i lose weight and reward myself with food i crave like a little excited puppy. So how do i change, how do i force myself to kick this inner lazy unmotivated bitch out of my head so i can start to feel pride for myself and reach my own goals!

I want to be a mediating, yoga doing, vegan who vlogs and writes her blog, I wanna receive products and items to review for people who care about my opinion, i wanna be able to jump on a trampoline with my kids and not sit on the sidelines watching my sister-in-law play with my kids instead because i exceed the weight limit and don’t wanna break it. but most of all i want to love myself, i dont wanna hate who i am, i dont wanna set goals and just not do them.

Have you experienced this, do you have any tips to help me, or do you just want to share your story too? don’t be shy, knowing you are not alone when you feel the most isolated is the best feeling ever.

K x