Inspire;

I have been notorious for comparing myself to other bloggers, social media moguls, celebrities you name it, I’ve compared myself! But i’m working on not doing that anymore, so in the words of the STUNNING Cara Alwill Leyba “If you like something about another woman, TELL Her!!!”

So this is a total boast post of a few babes I am inspired by!

Mel Rose; Author of Food and the City Blog!

I have followed this babe for at least 5 maybe even 6 years, and she is just stunning inside and out! she is an amazing food blogger and i cannot guarantee you wont drool when you read her socials!!! She started off as a beauty blogger on YouTube and branched out into the food blog universe and boy does she know her niche! She posts the most amazing food-grams, fashion posts and inspiring tidbits! Shes stunningly beautiful and she knows how to have a good time! She is the kind of person that once you have found her, you will want to follow every social and be her best friend just like me!

Mel Rose

Jamie Genevieve; YouTuber and Make up Goddess

Jamie, Jamie, Jamie… There’s something about this chick that just makes you feel like her best friend, maybe its the amazing tattoos, the infectious smile or the approachable persona, but honestly, she is EVERYTHING. Jamie is a Professional Make-up Artist and boy is she pure talent. AND, she has just started vlogging!!! 30 minutes of Jamie every week.. AH YES PLEASE! I’m Obsessed, You just need to follow her!

Jamie Genenieve

With The Whittakers / Jordan Whittaker 

This Mama, is probably the sweetest, most genuine person, Shes never put up a front, shes real and honest in all her posts. I remember i wrote her an email last year (cause we are totally friends and everything 😛 I wish) ANYWAY, I wrote her an email basically explaining how sorry i was for neglecting her socials, that it was out of pure jealousy, lack of self esteem and not feeling like i was good enough to be friends with her let alone just try and talk to her cause she is just way too cool for the likes of me. My oh My! I did not expect her response! Not only was she completely cool about it, but she understood, she reminded me that she is human too and that she valued my strength and honesty, Since then I have been to embarrassed to talk to her still but i am getting there,  the best part is that she  DOESN’T JUDGE ME for it! This Mama is Stunning, she is a super fashionista with her style as well as her toddler style for Her children Brooklyn and Marlo, she plans and preps her meals (that look amazing) shes a social media influencer and inspires mums all over the world to be the best version of themselves they can be and to not put so much pressure on themselves, while reminding them that she struggles too, its her job to take good photos and post inspiring tidbits but she has her moments too, just like we all do. Jordan is the mom friend we all need ❤

The Whittakers

Rocky and Ruby Blog / Rebecca Keil

This mama is your classic Kiwi mum with a confident twist, She is cool as a cucumber and real as fuck, shes not afraid to show us that it’s really is okay to say that our kids are really just pissing us off and she doesn’t bend herself or her content to societies norm, she will tell you the great, the fun, the shit and the awful side of parenting and wont take shit from no one. I absolutely LOVE her for this quality, but not only that, she is gorgeous! An MUA by trade, and is so in tune with herself that she can pull off any look, while keeping her kids styled to the nines. I have followed her since she made and sold kids clothing and now she has evolved into this powerhouse blogging mom, she is a breath of fresh air for any mum, and her classic kiwi humor is hilarity!

Rocky and Ruby Blog

Cara Alwill Leyba / The Champagne Diet

I can’t mention Cara without adding her to this list! Cara is a Master life coach, Blogger and Best selling author of my favorite book Girl Code. She has single handedly lead a community of thousands of Lady bosses to pursue their dreams of entrepreneurship, self love, empowerment and to straight up just SLAY BABY! She has changed and improved so many lives as well as her own, she is a Queen in Chanel! I love this woman so much and she inspires me every day to pursue my dreams, even if i don’t know what they are yet, girl has still got me chasing them.

Cara

Now if i could, i would take each and every one of these beautiful ladies out for a coffee and lead into the night with champagne (or beer eh Rebecca 😂 ) , Thank you ladies for being true to who you are and inspiring me to find my true me, Shes here somewhere and if it wasn’t for your light, id never find her ❤

K x

Stuck Between a Harley Quinn & A Glam Barbie

Almost everyone I see on social media has their preferred style, whether it be glam, punk, grunge, princess, sporty or what, But for my entire life i have never known where I fit in. I have tried many different styles.

I’ve tried the punk sort of emo Look…

I’ve Had “Try Hard Chic”

 

Then there was “I’m Trying”

Followed by, “I’m a mum now, I no longer care about me”

Slowly transitioning into “okay I’m having another baby now, get your shit together” -Part of getting my shit together was marrying my Boyfriend of 4 years as we had a second baby on the way and figured it was about time because we had been engaged for 3 years 😂

Then a while later I tried the classic “If i dress sporty then maybe I will want to workout” Style

And within the last year alone I have tackled, Harley Quinn Unique, Fashionista Chic, and Effortless Casual and a bit of Glam Barbie

And after all of that… I still have no idea which trend or style i want to stick with, i love being all glam and pretty but i also LOVE the idea of cos-playing Harley Quinn (ya’ll Know i have an insane obsession) then another part of me loves the sporty look with chokers and hats, leggings and over-sized tops, and a total other side of me also wants to follow the high fashion, designer chic style or the Tatted babe with piercings! I am totally conflicted, can there really be room in my head for every style i have tried? have you suffered from this dilemma or are you totally sure of yourself and queen you rock your look! Help a Babe! How did you find your niche?

K x

Dear food

We need to talk, please know that what I’m about to say is about me, not you.

I think the time has come where I need to let our relationship go. It has been an good 26 years, you were always there for me whenever I needed someone to talk to, if I was lonely, and you made me feel good, no matter what. But today I realised that this relationship is not good for me, my body or my family.

We are toxic together, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. Your relationship is bad for not only my body but for my children as well. You no longer make me feel whole and warm, I no longer feel complete when we are together. Instead I feel sick, I want to vomit to make the feeling go away because I don’t know when to stop, I find it hard to breathe and I don’t feel good in anything I wear. My depression is taking over and my relationship with you is the catalyst in my bad health. I don’t want to feel this way anymore!

So I think it’s time that we break up, it’s not you, it’s me… I’m craving something else.

Something that fuels my entire body and not my emotions, something clean, light and weightless, something to give me energy and to show my children that we need to eat to live and not live to eat, so I’m sorry, but I am moving in with healthy eating tomorrow. Please have your stuff out by then. I know you’ll find happiness somewhere, but this girl is screaming to come out and I need to let her.

Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)
Me at 73kg 17 years old (2007)

Goodbye junk food.

K x

Just stick to something;

Shocker, I have been MIA again! No surprises there eh? I’m not going to make up excuses because there really isn’t one, most people push through an obstacle, i sit and wallow in it.

This past month or so I have been battling with my depression again, nothing too extreme (thank goodness) but enough to listen to the mean girl in my head telling me that i am worthless, that no one cares about what i have to say or the posts and pictures that i put up or even in the real world where no one will care if i join them for coffee because they probably don’t even like me anyway or the hardest one, I don’t want to take my child to school because i don’t want his classmates to tease him for having a fat mom. But I won’t go too much more into it because the things my subconscious tells me are things that you wouldn’t want to hear said to another person. It gets pretty mean up in there.

I have a very unmotivated, lazy and why bother sort of personality that figures nobody cares so why should I, But then there is a pipsqueak little voice deep down that is trying to shout above it and remind me of the dreams I have not only for myself, but for my children too, it wants to tell me to screw what others think and do what I want to do, to push forward because the finish line is so much brighter, i can picture it but i have never seen it and it really is greener over there.

the grass ain’t always greener on the other side. It’s greener where you water it

So i’m walking in my Nana’s footsteps and i’m and going to channel her green thumb because this isn’t the life i want, not by a long shot, and I have so many goals/dreams and things I want to achieve that I don’t have time to keep wallowing in this pathetic little bubble of self loathing and misery, sure it is going to be difficult, and sure i am bound to fail plenty more times but as long as i keep getting back up, I will succeed!

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Im sick of coming around to another birthday, easter, christmas and suddenly realising that i have just let my life fly by and I have done nothing with it. I want more for myself, I deserve better, and my kids deserve better!

So yet again this is ANOTHER testimony to myself and my readers that I will grow, change and shrink! there are a few plans in the works and i will post more about them at another time but for now i will sign off with a little quote i learned from a Melissa Ambrosini Book “Mastering you Mean girl”

“I love and accept myself unconditionally and wholeheartedly” ~ Melissa Ambrosini

K x

New Years Res #1 – CHECK

On my previous post i wrote down a few small goals i had for myself this year, and wholly shit would you believe it, I ACHIEVED A GOAL!

Over this past week My Husband, my children and myself moved into our own home (a rental of course, buying a home.. Pssh too much commitment for me just yet!)

We found the perfect little 4 bedroom home with a fenced back section, fireplace and open plan living dining and kitchen area, both kids get their own room and hubby and i get n office/filming space! it is perfection

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We are still finding homes for things and getting out hands on furniture as we had none from our downsize when we moved to this town but the privacy, the accomplishment and feeling like an adult again who is in control of my own life and home is by far the best feeling in the world.

Dont get me wrong, i am super appreciative and grateful to my mom for taking us in when we went through a tough spot, but it is our time to move onward and upwards.

2017 is our year to achieve our goals! Have you got any specific goals that you want to achieve or have already achieved? I would love to know!

I’m a Bad Mom!

Have you seen Bad Moms Yet? If not, WHY!

I literally just finished watching this movie and immediately had to blog about my experience! Let me set the scene,

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Kids are in bed, fast asleep, I have wine, a french stick bread and my favorite Basil Pesto chunky dip, headphones on, snuggled by myself on the couch, ready to emmerse myself!

Throughout this entire movie I didn’t know whether to laugh because it was so hilarious or cry because it was so relatble! They could not have picked a better cast for this movie, first of all I LOVE Mila Kunis! she just has that down to earth vibe that just makes you want to be her friend, and i don’t think anyone could have played Amy Mitchell better than she did. But to be totally honest with you, I didn’t want to blog about how good the acting was or what part was my favorite, i want to focus on the message.

As moms we always feel this constant struggle to be the best, even if we don’t judge other moms, we are always comparing ourselves or wishing we could give our kids more, be more organised, provide healthier meals, Be the impossible! But that in and of itself is impossible, there is no way we can do it all, we cant afford it all, we cant do it all and we cant be it all, but what we can do.. is try!

We work ourselves to the bone to try and prove that we are some magic super mom that quite frankly doesn’t exist, we all struggle, we all feel down and we all feel insane at times AND THAT IS OKAY!

I want to share and encourage the message, that we should never feel like we have to compete to be like another mom, cause she is most likely competing to be like someone else too and its not fair! We need to bring each other up, we need to empower other mothers and tell them that they are doing a great job, when we see that defeated look in their eye we need to reassure them that they are amazing, even a simple “i feel ya babe” glance when you see them fighting a surf board baby into a car seat.

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My blurb- My kids only eat 50-70% of their dinner every night, i have to bribe them with a treat (even just a simple hot choc) just to try and get them to eat one more mouthful, maximum 4 days a week its vegetables because i’m just too tired of battling with them to eat a simple meal and i’m just trying to get SOME food into them, they get a bath maybe once or twice a week because i’m just too exhausted at the end of the day and cannot visibly see any dirt on them, they only brush their teeth at night, sometimes less for my daughter because i cannot bare to hold her down to shove a toothbrush in her mouth because all she does is suck the toothpaste off, my son has No ears and is repeatedly doing things we have asked him not to do 5 seconds before hand, which leads to the yelling! Most days I feel like i am yelling 24/7. I’m not a creative hands on mom that will sit down to teach my kids lessons every day like colors and numbers, yeah we talk about it and i do exercises with them through daily activities but i don’t have a number of books and pens and paints to be super hands on. But despite all of those difficulties and failures, at the end of the day my children are happy, bright, loving, caring, healthy and bubbly children who will go far in life because we are learning and figuring the world out together. I don’t have it all figured out, fuck, by the posts I have done you can tell that i’m a mess, But i love my kids with everything I am and even though i’m not the perfect mom i wish i was. I Am OK. Moms, I got you! We all got each other! Share your stories, share your struggles, don’t be ashamed, don’t be embarrassed, embrace the bullshit that comes with motherhood and lets be bad moms together!

 

K x

I Just Can’t…

This month has been quite literally one of the hardest months of my life, I think i adjusted better to becoming a mum!

First big hit was finding out a very close family member is terminally ill. I then injured my knee which now means I am unable to work, exercise or walk normally, and my diet has been so all over the place that i swear I’ve gained the equivalent weight of Molly.

And despite knowing better, I made the abhorrent decision to make matters worse and self medicate with food…

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And not just some fries, I went all out! Large Boss Burger Combo + a Filet-O-Fish burger! All because i let my emotions take over, I have just been given almost a month off work following my doctors appointment today, a referral to a counselor and medication to relieve anxiety, I cried most of my docs appointment and was filled with fear about telling my boss I need more time off work when she is already unsupportive and livid that i have had 2 weeks off already. Needless to say, the only way i knew I could feel better was food. Why is this a norm for me, i didnt enjoy it at all, it didnt help me in the slightest, i still have all the same feelings only now i have added regret, nausea and self loathing. Im so mad that instead of meditating or reading a book or even blogging about it, I went straight for the drive through. Ugh I just can’t. Thanks for the Vent!

Have you overcome this urge? any tips are most welcome!

Luxe Fitness – First Impression

My Instagram has been inundated with encouragement and likes in regard to my post about my Luxe Fitness Protein Powder Purchase, So I wanted to give a little first impression on my order experience and first taste etc.

Ordering and Shipping: The process was easy to follow and super quick, it arrived really quickly too, I ordered on Friday night and it arrived 3 pm on Monday afternoon.

Packaging: It came in a cute small box and everything was packaged safely in bubble wrap. The label and the presentation of the actual product is super modern and appealing, I’m obsessed with the overall presentation. It is definitely Aesthetically pleasing!

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instagram.com/spillsnserenity

Taste Test: I got the Vanilla Flavor, purely because i thought it would be more universal in different flavored smoothies and would taste great with various fruits etc, But obviously I wanted to try it on its own first. I mixed it with milk for the first try as i find protein shakes tend be a lot creamier mixed that way and boy was it good!! OMG it was super creamy, and so yummy!! And I’m not a huge Vanilla person but i really enjoyed it, It mixed really well, it wasn’t lumpy or grainy and it was enjoyable right to the end of the cup. I have yet to try it with water or mix it in a fruit smoothie but I’m excited to experiment with different fruits and flavors.

As for any progress or the fat-burner, I will be keeping a journal of how I am doing and any progress I make, but overall, So far I am super impressed and i’m excited to see where it takes me!

K x

 

 

Gratitude is a disappearing virtue!

Too often we focus on what we don’t have, what we are missing, what we wish we had, or what others have that we want. We forget to stop and take a look at the blessings we do have in our lives, the family we have, the luxuries or the simple things.

In a split second the world around you can get turned upside down, a very close family member can be given a deadly diagnosis even when they are the healthiest person you know. You could be thrown into a grim situation or just simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time and lose everything you knew

So today I want to share the things i am most grateful for!

  • My Family, I have a small immediate family but we are all super close and love each other with everything we are. We are never far from each others thoughts and enjoy every moment we have together.
  • My Body, I am grateful for my healthy body, even though its large, every blood test I have comes back exceptional, I am rarely sick and have all functioning limbs.
  • My ability to have children, I count my blessings every day that i was able to have 2 beautiful and healthy children. My heart goes out to all women who struggle or are unable to have a family.
  • My Husband, we have our ups and downs for sure, but despite any spat we may have, we are always able to work it out and come back together stronger than before. My Husband loves absolutely everything about me and reminds me everyday. I am so grateful so have found such a loving and accepting man to spend my life with and raise our family.
  • My Finances. I never thought i would say this, and even though i have debt collection bills and bad credit, I am grateful for my government for the allowances I am entitled to while I work my part time job so that i am able to provide delicious food and a happy loving environment for my children
  • My Mother, not only did she raise me to be loving, open minded and understanding, she always makes sure i have everything i need, she is always there no matter the time or place and sacrifices herself to make sure others are okay. She continues to support me no matter what, including opening up her warm loving home for my family in our time of need.

I’m sure there are many more things i could list but those are the main ones i wanted to focus on, because these are the ones we tend to take for granted.

My Task for you is to comment 3 things you are grateful for in this very moment that you are reading this.

 

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K x

#TBT My First YouTube Video

So on Monday, I was looking through my old videos to show a friend on twitter that you can still do a make up video without having the High end filming equipment that most girls use today. In looking back for My First Make up Tutorial i also stumbled across my first ever YouTube video and man does it make me cringe!

My First YouTube Video!

It was a 46 Questions tag to introduce myself and it was filmed on an old boxy, White Macbook Pro in photobooth! I was nervous as hell pausing on questions like when is your birthday because I wasnt sure if i should say the year, I kept looking at myself in the screen and playing with my hair, and i was trying way too hard to make sure i looked the part.

More importantly, the point of this blog post is that.. I do not recognise that person. It was Pre Children, Pre baby body, like 30-40kgs lighter, and not to mention the overkill side part!

In listening to the answers I realized that I lied to make myself seem more interesting and generic to the other beauty vloggers, Half of the answers i wouldn’t even think to pick now, like my fave restaurant? Pah lease! i went there once and i NEVER eat at restaurants, since then (5 years ago) i have been to a handful of places. And my fave snack, are you kidding me?! Unsalted peanuts? who the fuck are you! and by the way they are NOT really good for you, DOOFUS!

I was trying so hard that I don’t even recognise who she is, and while i may love the fact that she is a lot slimmer and loved herself alot more than I do I’m more true to who I am now and honest about my thoughts and opinions.

What did you think of the video? Do you look back and wonder the same? how far have you come? What is your throwback?

k x