My Instagram has been inundated with encouragement and likes in regard to my post about my Luxe Fitness Protein Powder Purchase, So I wanted to give a little first impression on my order experience and first taste etc.
Ordering and Shipping: The process was easy to follow and super quick, it arrived really quickly too, I ordered on Friday night and it arrived 3 pm on Monday afternoon.
Packaging: It came in a cute small box and everything was packaged safely in bubble wrap. The label and the presentation of the actual product is super modern and appealing, I’m obsessed with the overall presentation. It is definitely Aesthetically pleasing!
Taste Test: I got the Vanilla Flavor, purely because i thought it would be more universal in different flavored smoothies and would taste great with various fruits etc, But obviously I wanted to try it on its own first. I mixed it with milk for the first try as i find protein shakes tend be a lot creamier mixed that way and boy was it good!! OMG it was super creamy, and so yummy!! And I’m not a huge Vanilla person but i really enjoyed it, It mixed really well, it wasn’t lumpy or grainy and it was enjoyable right to the end of the cup. I have yet to try it with water or mix it in a fruit smoothie but I’m excited to experiment with different fruits and flavors.
As for any progress or the fat-burner, I will be keeping a journal of how I am doing and any progress I make, but overall, So far I am super impressed and i’m excited to see where it takes me!
Too often we focus on what we don’t have, what we are missing, what we wish we had, or what others have that we want. We forget to stop and take a look at the blessings we do have in our lives, the family we have, the luxuries or the simple things.
In a split second the world around you can get turned upside down, a very close family member can be given a deadly diagnosis even when they are the healthiest person you know. You could be thrown into a grim situation or just simply be in the wrong place at the wrong time and lose everything you knew
So today I want to share the things i am most grateful for!
My Family, I have a small immediate family but we are all super close and love each other with everything we are. We are never far from each others thoughts and enjoy every moment we have together.
My Body, I am grateful for my healthy body, even though its large, every blood test I have comes back exceptional, I am rarely sick and have all functioning limbs.
My ability to have children, I count my blessings every day that i was able to have 2 beautiful and healthy children. My heart goes out to all women who struggle or are unable to have a family.
My Husband, we have our ups and downs for sure, but despite any spat we may have, we are always able to work it out and come back together stronger than before. My Husband loves absolutely everything about me and reminds me everyday. I am so grateful so have found such a loving and accepting man to spend my life with and raise our family.
My Finances. I never thought i would say this, and even though i have debt collection bills and bad credit, I am grateful for my government for the allowances I am entitled to while I work my part time job so that i am able to provide delicious food and a happy loving environment for my children
My Mother, not only did she raise me to be loving, open minded and understanding, she always makes sure i have everything i need, she is always there no matter the time or place and sacrifices herself to make sure others are okay. She continues to support me no matter what, including opening up her warm loving home for my family in our time of need.
I’m sure there are many more things i could list but those are the main ones i wanted to focus on, because these are the ones we tend to take for granted.
My Task for you is to comment 3 things you are grateful for in this very moment that you are reading this.
So on Monday, I was looking through my old videos to show a friend on twitter that you can still do a make up video without having the High end filming equipment that most girls use today. In looking back for My First Make up Tutorial i also stumbled across my first ever YouTube video and man does it make me cringe!
It was a 46 Questions tag to introduce myself and it was filmed on an old boxy, White Macbook Pro in photobooth! I was nervous as hell pausing on questions like when is your birthday because I wasnt sure if i should say the year, I kept looking at myself in the screen and playing with my hair, and i was trying way too hard to make sure i looked the part.
More importantly, the point of this blog post is that.. I do not recognise that person. It was Pre Children, Pre baby body, like 30-40kgs lighter, and not to mention the overkill side part!
In listening to the answers I realized that I lied to make myself seem more interesting and generic to the other beauty vloggers, Half of the answers i wouldn’t even think to pick now, like my fave restaurant? Pah lease! i went there once and i NEVER eat at restaurants, since then (5 years ago) i have been to a handful of places. And my fave snack, are you kidding me?! Unsalted peanuts? who the fuck are you! and by the way they are NOT really good for you, DOOFUS!
I was trying so hard that I don’t even recognise who she is, and while i may love the fact that she is a lot slimmer and loved herself alot more than I do I’m more true to who I am now and honest about my thoughts and opinions.
What did you think of the video? Do you look back and wonder the same? how far have you come? What is your throwback?
Honestly the amount of false hatred caused by envy that I hold in my Heart makes me wonder why I’m not having heart attacks! I have a friend who is an AMAZING blogger ( like i have wanted to be a blogger/vlogger for over 5 years with zero motivation, and here she comes with a goal and boom she does it!) Then I know other people who have been vlogging on YouTube for 5 minutes compared to my 5 years and they are BOOMING! and here i am with my small outreach but instead of using that to drive me to do better, im moping about how everyone i know is better than me at things i have been wanting to do forever compared to their 4 minutes!
I feel hatred, i feel jealousy, i feel mad but the only thing i know for sure is those feelings are just a mask for depression and frustration toward myself for not getting off my now VERY fat arse and doing something about it, not fueling that desire by the negative feelings, instead i wallow… Yeah, real smart Kristy!
Side note: if you are or know who im referencing please try to see this as my journey towards self improvement because if i really look deep down, i feel those things towards myself, not you. My true and honest feelings toward you as a person is pride, pride that you are able to succeed at things im not, pride that you are achieving your goals and pride that you are walking your path.
Now back to inner rage… I sit here full from eating 2 pies, 1/4 bag of snake lollies, 1/8 block of chocolate and a late lunch of KFC and knowing that ive expressed this rage before and nothing, I have set goals before and nothing, i have even written goals in a previous post and still reverted back to where i was, i lose weight and reward myself with food i crave like a little excited puppy. So how do i change, how do i force myself to kick this inner lazy unmotivated bitch out of my head so i can start to feel pride for myself and reach my own goals!
I want to be a mediating, yoga doing, vegan who vlogs and writes her blog, I wanna receive products and items to review for people who care about my opinion, i wanna be able to jump on a trampoline with my kids and not sit on the sidelines watching my sister-in-law play with my kids instead because i exceed the weight limit and don’t wanna break it. but most of all i want to love myself, i dont wanna hate who i am, i dont wanna set goals and just not do them.
Have you experienced this, do you have any tips to help me, or do you just want to share your story too? don’t be shy, knowing you are not alone when you feel the most isolated is the best feeling ever.
Its been a hot minute since i have put up a blog post, which upsets me because i really want to work hard at this and make a good name for my brand. But lets get real for a minute.
I have suffered with depression since i was about 13, Possibly earlier. So i’m no stranger to the feeling of anxiety, self hatred, and thoughts of self harm, worthlessness and all the other battles we go through. I have also battled with and probably still battle with eating disorders but that’s a blog for another day.
Recently i have been feeling this way again, for years I suppressed it and was adamant that i could handle it on my own, without therapy or medication, until recently. I still to this day cannot accept the way i am and hate almost every part of my body, i have zero energy to be a good and active engaging parent (thank god for my husband, that guy deserves a trophy) and although i am amazing at making lists and plans, even writing goals, I am terrible at following through. I cannot remember the last time i completed anything.
I hate the way I am living my life, I hate the person I have become, but no matter how much i pray for the will to change, i cannot drum up the energy to keep going let alone start.
I have never really been open with this and those around me might be shocked to know it, I’m a very big “fake it till you make it” person, but it just wont cut it anymore, i’m sick of the negative energy i bring myself so this week i will be visiting my doctor to go on an antidepressant. The last time i was offered them by a doctor i threw them in my doctors face and told them I didn’t need them (i was 15 and very rebellious to authority)
If you have a similar story, or are one who has hidden the truth from those they love, Be honest with yourself and those who care about you. ITS OKAY! Its okay to feel this way, and its MORE THAN OKAY to ask for help, it doesn’t make you any less of a person, it doesn’t make you weak, it wont defeat you. If anything it will make you stronger, having the courage to say you need help is one of the most admirable and strong things you can do.
I wanted to take a bit of time to focus on my brand name. “Spills and Serenity”
Those of you who have ventured over here from my social media would know that I used to go by “MissKriiiisty” when i first started my YouTube channel 4 years ago.
When I became pregnant and after the birth of my son, i struggled for years to keep up with my content, keeping it consistent and keeping up with the beauty blogger category i had put myself into. Beauty and Make up was no longer a priority, i still very much enjoyed it, but i had been given a new hat to wear. The Mom Hat. I was lucky if i wore make up once a week, hell i was lucky if i showered once a week – Gross i know but don’t judge!
My priorities changed, my passions changed, I changed. I did go through a very tough time with postnatal depression as well as the severe clinical depression I was diagnosed with at 14 so i struggled a lot, self-esteem issues were through the roof and i battled my own demons constantly. Then we started trying to conceive Molly, which in turn took me further than ever from the “Beauty Vlogger” category, I wanted to vlog my pregnancy updates, cravings, symptoms, gender prediction tests. All of the things i didn’t know about when we were trying to conceive Mayson. I went through a couple more name changes, (like this blog post if your were around for MissMommmy) but nothing seemed to resonate with how i felt as a person and who i wanted to become.
After ALOT of deliberation back and forth as well as constant admiration of Amber Marie’s consistency and determination (not to mention how pretty) her blog is, during a coffee date one day, I picked her brain. She knew things i couldn’t have imagined about the creativity of a website, things i was so closed off to because i felt like a foreigner in my own space. She threw ideas at me and gave me so many suggestions that when i went home that night it struck me “SPILLS AND SERENITY”. I immediately rang her to see what she thought of the idea and after explaining how i came up with it she loved it, more importantly, I LOVED IT.
For the first time in years I felt like i had found my brand, the name in which to represent my name, my family, and my goals. So here goes.
The SPILLS portion of the name references to the ups and downs, the mistakes and messes of mother hood, and the tragedies of drama, self-doubt and the over all emotional roller-coaster that is LIFE
Serenity is the Zen, peaceful body you become when you have reached your goals, accepting you for who you are, changing what makes you unhappy, and becoming the person ou dreamt you could be. Living in a serene world where nothing can get you down because you know who you truly are.
So basically to sum it all up, I want to share my journey from the messy and sporadic life I live now, and work my way to a peaceful and serene life i dream of.
Thank you so much for reading and I would love to hear your stores in the comments.
So to follow-up from my last post… I have done 2 more walks since, one that almost killed me, and one that didn’t ha ha
Monday last week, 4th of April 2016 Mum convinced me to walk to the lake, around it, and back home again… My Heart Rate literally spiked to over 155 bpm! i had to stop every few minutes and I felt pain in every inch of my body. but aside from all that I was so proud to have pushed through it and just did it. It took me about 3 days to recover in which i haven’t been making the best food choices. ALOT better, but still not great. Then thursday came and I caved in to having a McDonald’s Breakfast.. Naughty I KNOW! the guilt got to me too and i went for a walk to make myself feel better So Mum and I went for a 30 minute walk around the lake, this time we drove there due to my fitness levels being so low i couldn’t handle it the last time. The lake walk is gorgeous so It’s a great incentive to get out and get some exercise, It’s just under 3 kms and takes me about 30 mins to walk around.
With my Diet still not great, the weekend did not consist of any extra exercise, to be fair though, it was pouring rain the entire weekend. Still No takeout, and have been eating a lot more veges but still not the best. Slow and steady wins the race right?
Wednesday came around and I had just finished work at about 6:30 AM and I thought to myself “you know what, before it pisses down with rain again, I’m going to go for a walk” So 6:30 Wednesday morning i went for another walk around the lake.
It is now Friday, I havent been for another walk, and we just had lasagna for dinner, not the healthiest but i did add 1/3 of a bag of spinach and 3 carrots into the mixture to make it a bit healthier. I also want to note that as much as my day walks have been minimal, i do have a somewhat active job delivering the New Zealand herald 7 days per week, which consists of getting in and out of my car 150 times which according to my fit bit burns around 500 calories depending on how fast i go to get my heart rate up. Mum and i are going for a walk tomorrow to get coffee again so that will be nice.
Now you have a run down of how my last week has gone, I wanted to share with you A haul video I uploaded to my YouTube Channel of all the healthier foods we bought for the week, this will give you a fair idea of how i have been eating.
I wanted to start a new Series on my blog where i list my top 5 goals for the following week, and every friday i will do a summary of how that week went. so here goes…
My Goals for the week of the 18th April are::
Star logging my Meal in My Fitness Pal to keep track of my eating habits and portions and water intake
Go for a walk 3 time per week
attempt Yoga 1-2 times per week
Go to bed before 10pm
No Soft Drink
What are your goals for the week? Comment here or TWEET me!